AA Meetings Make Me Wanna Kill Myself

Why Do You Hate The Program So Much?

It’s not that I hate the program. It’s that I find it mostly useless and far too religious and cult-like. Sure, there are plenty of people who join 12-step programs and a tiny minority of them stay sober — and those meetings might help them with that — but to act like AA (or NA) is the end-all, be-all of recovery is just small-minded. It’s like telling someone that in order to be moral, they have to attend church services.

What’s The Harm In Giving It a Try? What Are You Afraid Of?

There’s no fear. It’s my experience. More than 6 years of it. Different meetings in different towns and different states too.

So What’s So Bad About Sitting Through A Meeting?

Each meeting begins with the same steps — I call them commandments because they sure sound like them — and traditions being read, plus a meditation. If you’re lucky, the leader of the meeting will get someone who is at least half-literate to read the traditions so you’re not sitting there listening to some half-wit trying to pronounce “autonomous.”

What? You Think You Know Everything Then?

Yeah, nice try. I’m not taking that bait. I know I don’t know everything. That’s why I sought out support when I wanted to get sober and to stay sober. The trouble is that questioning the steps or the god stuff is treated as sacrilege. Would you believe that there are complete strangers who will actually come out and ask you what your higher power is?

Well What’s The Point Of The Program In The First Place Then?

To be a member of AA only requires that you have the desire to stop drinking. Being able to sit in a room filled with people who know what it’s like to wake up covered in their own piss and vomit can be very helpful when you are trying to figure out how to live a sober life. There is a tremendous amount of non-judgment and acceptance from people, but only if you are talking about your drinking and the harm you’ve caused.

To Be Continued…

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